Bundy Quote # 31

Bud (explaining 'Moby Dick' to Kelly): Ishmael and the whale were actually good friends, and the whale would talk...
Kelly: Oh, cool!
Bud: Yep. And they sang this classic whaling song:
"a whale is a whale of course, of course
and no one can talk to a whale of course
unless of course the whale of course is the fabulous Mr. Dick"

Bundy Quote # 30

Al: Peg, you're old; you know it... *hums* "mmm-hhmm him"
Peg: Clip your nose hairs, Al. When you were humming, it looked like a squid was trying to reach out and grab one of the kids!

Bundy Quote # 28

Kelly: Mom, when is Dad gonna turn the electricity on? I wanna play some records.
Bud: Oh, c'mon Kell, you don't need records... you know all the words, just chant: "Oh Satan", "Yay Satan", "Satan, I'm your squeeze"
Kelly: Eat Dad's socks!
Bud: Sniff his shoes!

Bundy Quote # 20

Bud: You can't be this dumb.
Kelly: I can be anything I wanna be, it's the 90's!

Bundy Quote # 15

Kelly: I don't wanna sit around in the house and sleep. It's just like being in school.
Al: No, the difference between here and school is that you'll be out of here when you're 18.

Bundy Quote # 12

Marcy: Al, that money is for starving and destitute artists!
Al: Well, we are starving.
Kelly: Besides, I'm not a destitute! I've never charged for-
Al: Pumpkin, guard the film!

Bundy Quote # 9

Al: (to Kelly) When I was your age, there were a lot of parties I wasn't invited to.
Marcy: Well, there's a mystery.
Al: Here's another one: What's holding that towel?

Bundy Quote # 4

Al: I can count on you two to kill me, right?
Bud: You can count on us, dad.
Al: Good! Then that's present enough for this... my one BILLIONTH anniversary.

Bundy Quote # 3

Kelly: I just thought it was time that i gave something back to the community.
Bud: Well, judging by the lines at the free clinic, you already have.