Bundy Quote # 31

Bud (explaining 'Moby Dick' to Kelly): Ishmael and the whale were actually good friends, and the whale would talk...
Kelly: Oh, cool!
Bud: Yep. And they sang this classic whaling song:
"a whale is a whale of course, of course
and no one can talk to a whale of course
unless of course the whale of course is the fabulous Mr. Dick"

Bundy Quote # 30

Al: Peg, you're old; you know it... *hums* "mmm-hhmm him"
Peg: Clip your nose hairs, Al. When you were humming, it looked like a squid was trying to reach out and grab one of the kids!

Bundy Quote # 29

Al (to Death): Please don't take me! Take someone who deserves it, like... Michael Bolton! Or whoever wrote that 'Facts of Life' theme!

Bundy Quote # 28

Kelly: Mom, when is Dad gonna turn the electricity on? I wanna play some records.
Bud: Oh, c'mon Kell, you don't need records... you know all the words, just chant: "Oh Satan", "Yay Satan", "Satan, I'm your squeeze"
Kelly: Eat Dad's socks!
Bud: Sniff his shoes!

Bundy Quote # 27

Marcy: And remember, after dinner when they serve the cigars and brandy, you go in the other room with the wives.
Jefferson: Oh all right. But I better get a phonebook for my pants, because every time it's the same thing: the lights accidentally go out, and I'm the helpless victim of a gang goose.

Bundy Quote # 26

Al: Kids, I need that necklace. If I don't give it to your mother, I'll have to give it to your mother. And if have to give it to your mother, I'm gonna give it to you!

Bundy Quote # 25

Al: After I moved Brenda's couch, she said I was cute. Oh Peg, I think she likes me!
Peg: Oh honey, how could she? Believe me Al, and I'm telling you this as your wife and as your friend... no one likes you.

Bundy Quote # 24

Marcy: The people are with us! We've reached their consciousness! Power to the people! Power to the people!!
Protester: Take off your shirt!

Bundy Quote # 23

Al: They're trying to sneak by a 2-cent beer tax. TWO cents! And what really gets to me is, the money that they're gonna raise is gonna go for education! Well I'll be damned if I'm paying two cents for some moron to learn how to read!

Bundy Quote # 22

Al: Who am I gonna get to cut my hair? I called all my friends last night.
Peg: What did he say?
Al: (pause) He said "yep, I'm still in San Quentin for killing the wife, but it was worth it". The rest said they were gonna go to... salons.
Peg: C'mon honey, what's wrong with going to salons?
Al: Will they laugh in a salon when you say "what do women and dog doodie have in common...? the older they get, the easier they are to pick up"?